Sunday, October 25, 2009

Week 7 NFL Lines...

After the promise of a complete write-up, I was nothing short of humiliated by last weeks picks. Call it nothing but being bitter, but also a general lack of time to think about every individual game to where I'd fair better than 4-10. One would think that maybe it's time to stop thinking that teams will consistently cover 14-point spreads to teams like the Raiders, or that 9.5 was simply too much for the Patriots to cover. *eugh!* Let's just hope I'm still over .500 at the conclusion of this week...


San Diego (-5.5) over KANSAS CITY

Indianapolis (-14) over ST. LOUIS

CINCINNATI (+1) over Chicago

Green Bay (-9) over CLEVELAND

Minnesota (+6) over PITTSBURGH

New England (-15.5) over Tampa Bay (at London)

HOUSTON (-3) over San Francisco

NY Jets (-6) over OAKLAND

CAROLINA (-7) over Buffalo

MIAMI (+6.5) over New Orleans

Atlanta (+5) over DALLAS

NY GIANTS (-7) over Arizona


MNF


Philadelphia (-7) over WASHINGTON


Last week: 4-10
Season: 47-43

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

NHL Trade Deadline Extravaganza!

I should start by saying that I don't want to make this whole thing seem as if I hate hockey. What I should start with is saying that I just can't stand it. The last time I ever found myself interested in a hockey game at any given point was the 03/04 Stanley Cup Finals between Tampa Bay and Calgary. Seven game series, a lot of drama, a lot of national excitement coming from out west and rubbing off on most Canadians. My problem with hockey comes from how very boring I perceive the game from this point. Maybe I liked it a lot more when I was younger because that is what young Canadian boys do. Your friends like it, therefore you like it. Perhaps perception vs. reality in grade school is very flawed when it came to how I viewed hockey. I remember passively watching games, but intently playing EA Sports NHL Hockey from about 1994 through 1998. (I may have one or two more generations of the game, but the last one I remember was the cover with John Vanbiesbrouck.) All of a sudden though, I noticed the games getting very boring and really unentertaining. Sure, Hockey Night in Canada happens to be on the same time as 'Cops' is on Saturday nights but that has nothing to do with the fine quality of a television show like 'Cops.' What it has to do with is just how unentertaining hockey became in relation to the hype surrounding it. I shall explain...

Today I spent a good chunk of my time trying to stomach my way through the NHL's Trade Deadline special on TSN. Now, my idea was to just take notes during the day and post my thoughts of how ridiculously funny these guys were taking this and just share my thoughts with my very limited circle of readers. But this was more than painful. When I woke up I sort of regretted my decision to tell people that I had planned on doing this, because I realized I would have to spend a very large portion of time feeding into what I despised. While I was watching all of the action unfold though I can't help but wonder what kind of coverage any of the big non-championship game coverage these things get by ESPN. I know the NFL does run footage of what is going on at the draft combine, but what else are they going to fill programming time with? It probably generates ratings, but not on the level the three all-sports networks in Canada manage for their trade coverage. The NFL combine is really the only thing I can manage to think of that generates ridiculous coverage for something that in the end probably does matter. Yeah, Chris Johnson was fast in last years combine and generated some hype about himself by his quick time in the 40, but the guy is talented. When the sports networks cover the trade deadline these guys are nothing more than TMZ in that most of the excitement is just generated by rumour and inuendo and the possibility that your team MAY be a little better suited to make a run. But this is no different from any other sporting leagues trade deadlines that get no more than a brief little mention on the ticker when the trade is processed by the leagues office.

Yes, this was a direct ripoff of ESPN.com's Bill Simmons column where he took notes on the NHL Draft a few years ago, but whatever. I'm sure Bill doesn't even know the NHL has a trading deadline and wouldn't mind me taking some creative liberties with his idea. Here is my running log of what I endured, even coming in an hour and a half late after the coverage had started.

12:27 - This is about an hour in and this whole day seems to have a very pathetic sort of feel to it. I'm glad I chose not to watch this in it's entirety because the lead guy on TSN seems to be really depressed. They're watching the Maple Leafs practice right now and Corey Woron has a "source" telling him information. This guy is hanging out at some empty arena and I'm to believe that the guy who drew the short straw is actually getting important e-mails on his blackberry?

12:35 - The big hype today surrounds Phoenix Coyotes forward Olli Jokinen possibly being traded. James Duthie is the MC of this joyous ceremony and already looks bored. He woke up expecting Christmas and got Kwanza. He throws it it to the "Trade Breakers" who all talk about the breaking rumours they're getting in on their Blackberry's about the Jokinen trade. Apparently, like most Blackberry users, they'd prefer to ignore the people (in this case a camera) infront of them and just play with their phones. Duthie calls up Farham Lalji who is giving us updates on the Canucks... he has nothing to say of any relevance.

12:38 - They cutoff Farham to break a trade that Steve Montador (I don't know who he is) has been traded for... oh wait, Blackberry boys have news on Jokinen so they stop talking about Montador. Poor guy. When Montador watches his TiVo tonight he'll find out he didn't even get 15 seconds of their time.

Turns out Jokinen has been traded to the Calgary Flames. They throw it to four guys I've never seen or heard of before and they commence talking about what a deal this is for Calgary. After 10 minutes I notice how this is worse than NBC's "Football Night in America." There are a dozen guys in studio, none of them with anything interesting to say. It appears all of them love the trade for both sides, but none give any insight into why this helps one club or the other for reasons other than finances and how this works against the cap. I get in inclination that these guys need to read a few newspapers before they can put together words on exactly how these things help in terms of how the game will actually be played.

12:54 - They come back from break and James Duthie appears to have received a B-12 shot. This went from Kwanza, to a crappy Christmas where at least you opened up one good gift after opening up four boxes filled with ugly sweaters.

Obligatory Leafs mention in how they picked up Martin Gerber off of waivers because Vesa Toskala is out for the rest of the season. A single tear rolled down his face.

1:05 - Dutch comes in and gives the rundown of the non-stop excitement of the day. Not really. After running down the half dozen trades that have happened thus far, he seems very close to issuing a formal apology for those who called in sick to work today.

Dutch throws it to the three "Trade Breakers" who basically say the same things about Jokinen the other four guys just said. The words "we almost forgot about the Maple Leafs" were uttered. Thank god they gave the Leafs a shout out, I almost changed the channel. One by one each start looking down at their Blackberrys and they just sort of fade off without any real conclusion.

1:08 - Yes, Matthew Barnaby is on! A guy who reaffirms the notion that you don't need to have talent to be on television. He is joined by two other cast members I haven't seen and Pierre McGuire. Barnaby likens himself to Jokinen and how they are both reformed "bad apples." Barnaby neglects to mention his own lack of ability and Jokinen's talent being two things that make them the furthest thing from the word 'similar.' They cut to Edmonton's practice where they talk about Calgary. Makes sense.

1:22 - Nothing of note has happened in an hour so they decide to give the other fourteen guys in the studio time to think of an original thought by throwing to Pierre McGuire standing with Dutch. Pierre is wearing a suit bought at a Big and Tall store, when he may be no more than 5'8 and 155 lbs.

1:24 - Oh shit, I spoke too soon! Mark Recchi has been traded to Boston. McGuire is babbling about some bullshit. At this point I figure I'm going to go wake myself up. Walk around a bit, maybe grab a bite to eat. I seriously have been watching this for an hour and can't tolerate listening to these idiots anymore.

2:38 - I gave it an hour. Had a piece of pie, read a chapter of a book, had a shower. Turns out Bill Guerin was traded to Pittsburgh 40 minutes ago. I bet they spent the following 40 minutes talking about Sidney Crosby.

There are 20 minutes left in the deadline special and they're talking about Florida, as if anyone cares. They also see fit to give an obligatory shout out to the Leafs.

2:44 - Carcillo is traded from Phoenix to Philadelphia for Upshall. This was a bottle of Jolt Cola in the room. One of the guys I've never seen before likened Carcillo to Barnaby, what an insult to Carcillo.

Antropov is traded from the Leafs to the Rangers for picks. They talk about the Leafs a little more, and not how this helps or hurts the Rangers.

I booted over the ESPN.com for a minute to see what kind of coverage this thing is getting from the worldwide leader. Turns out they have three of the trades mentioned in their "top stories" box. Manny Ramirez resigned with the Dodgers and that is the lead story. Deservingly so, I say.

2:53 - They called up Bill Guerin and are asking him all the same questions you'd expect these guys to ask someone who's been traded. Bill Guerin has his NHL media book right next to him and says nothing interesting or insightful. This is an opportunity for him to spit out as many sports cliches as possible. He does not let me down.

2:59 - Derek Morris has been traded to the Rangers with three seconds to spare. CLUTCH! "More to come" we are told. The "Trade Breakers" are quiet as usual, apparently their Blackberrys are powered by their own sense of self-gratification they get from using them. If they put them down for any prolonged period, their Blackberrys WILL DIE!

They throw it back to Duthie and the other four guys I don't know. They're honestly spent a majority of the time talking to the most uninteresting pannel of them all. I can see Barnaby in the background smiling like he's trying to ruin someones family photo infront of Disney World.

Duthie tells us how this is the slowest trade deadline in the past decade as of right now. Half think it's the economy, half think it's the cap that have caused this.

They turn their attention to how the untold story of the day is Jay Bouwmeester of Florida has yet to be traded. Let's talk about non-stories more, please.

The four idiots start praising the Rangers for the Antropov move, finally. They fail to give any insight as to why this helps them, but praise Rangers management in a contest of "I know who this person is."

3:03 - Domenic Moore has been traded from the Leafs to a mystery destination. Turns out there were rumours that Ponikarovsky from the Leafs has been traded to Nashville, but they are UNTRUE! I don't see how on a day of rumours, a false one could possibly be floating around. Turns out that Moore has been traded to Buffalo for a second round pick. Both Antropov and Moore were traded for second round picks, meaning they are as good if not better than Matt Cassel.

Some guys from Anaheim were traded, but this is getting really boring and almost too much for me to stomach.

3:11 - The episode of Seinfeld where Puddy gets a job selling cars and George constructs the "Candy bar line-up" is on. TSN has thrown to a press conference by whatever Sutter brother is in charge in Calgary and I have officially tapped out. Call it Mike Goldberg, "IT IS ALL OVER!" This Sutter brother apparently offered the thimble of personality that his family has to all his brothers and took solice in the fact that he will just be the brain dead one. This is what beat writers and professional broadcasters are for. Summarizing what boring people have to say in something that your average person won't watch over Seinfeld reruns they've happened to see 300 times.


Remember the episode of the Simpsons where Lisa was hooked on the Corey hotline and had to make it to midnight without calling? Well, I watched a large portion of this but I am still hooked on the Corey hotline. "Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Gory... story... allegory... montessori..."

Say what you will and maybe I just don't have the same appreciation for Rush and hockey that most of my peers have but I feel days like today should help prove a point that the hype simple does not match the end product. When all of your peers are telling you that you have got to see Transformers because it is an awesome movie, you can give them one response... no. No, it is not. You leave them to buy the DVD and wonder four months later why they wasted their money on it. Similarly, when a team makes the conference final and the same dozen dipshits are telling you about how this team knew what they had at the deadline and praise them for not making a deal, you'll know what an absoloute waste of time this whole thing was to begin with.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Fairplay-Rod

One of my many guilty pleasures in life is my undying appreciation for trash-TV. Watching a train wreck on "The Real World," having Flava Flav looking for love in all the wrong places. and my all-time favourite - paternity and lie detector tests on Maury Povich.

The lie detector tests really gain steam from the all out denials until the moment Maury tells us that the results are in...

"When asked if you had sex with anyone other than Cherise during the time you were dating, the lie detector test determined that is a lie, more than fifteen times."

Reactions out of the guys who have just been exposed are really where the money shot comes from. They can either play it off like somehow the lie detector was wrong, or start defending why they did it. Maybe it was that their old lady wasn't showing them the love they need at home, maybe they have a problem they need to fix, or maybe they were just young and naive and made a mistake... fifteen times.

I guess where the analogy ends is by taking a look at exactly what happened yesterday during Alex Rodriguez's press conference where he tried his best to offer up full disclosure to the media about his own steroid use. Where does Alex fit in on Maury Povich? He didn't blame the lie detector test like Bonds and Clemens did, but he certainly did try and turn it around on us all and blame the girl for all of his cheating.

That's not fair, it's not fair at all. I've had the idea since the story broke a week and a half ago about A-Rod's positive test to write something, but I've just struggled to really come up with how I feel about it. In reality, I don't think we should blame Alex for what he did or have him condemend. Let's actually pick up with the cheating boyfriend analogy and ask if we can really blame him for his actions.

If we are to believe everything that has been told to us by A-Rod, he first met the needle back in 2001. They met at some shady dive of a bar, where Alex's cousin took him out to set him up with a girl he knew. Maybe in a spot where your buddies wouldn't see you in the event this girl was nothing to look at. Turns out A-Rod has a few drinks, maybe gives the lady a kiss and they continue talking. Nothing serious. He just arrived in town and wants to see what else is out there, so the girl gives him a free pass. They'll meet up twice a month and hang out, but he can see other girls if he wants and not worry about the consequences.

2003 rolls around and suddenly she wants to put a label on what you have. There are rules now. Maybe A-Rod knows he can't see other girls anymore, but if he wants to he has to do in secrecy. At that point A-Rod isn't allowed to run around anymore, but he knows that whatever he does he won't get in trouble for it. So in that case, why stop?

Don't take this whole analogy as condoning cheating on ones significant other, because that isn't the case. But like Major League Baseball prior to 2004 and it's strict punishment for testing, if you have an open relationship why wouldn't you expect someone to take advantage of it?

What really bothers me about this whole thing is how now that people can put a face to one of the 104 players who tested positive in 2003, when results were meant to monitor the percentage of players who used during that time and the results were intended to be kept secret, that the one guy who was exposed is now being outed for his accomplishments, his records, his character and out of anything - the Hall of Fame.

Regardless of whatever happens to these sealed positive tests, how can anyone not just suspect anyone who played the game? Two weeks ago A-Rod was supposed to be the saviour of baseball for being the one who wound break the all-time homerun record and he would be the one who was clean while he did it. Sure, Barry "The Iron Shiek" Bonds would hold that title briefly, but we know how these things end. Alex "Hulk Hogan" Rodriguez would eventually win back that title for the good guys. The Ruths, the Aarons and the rest of the babyfaces of the sport. But now that A-Rod has been outed, he loses everything when we have no idea what other names are included in that list of 104 players.

Greg Maddux? Manny Ramirez? Pedro Martinez? Randy Johnson? Albert Pujols?

It seems most won't write off those names and I don't want to either. I really would like to believe that steroids and PEDs are for those who are fringe players trying to make it to the show, but we know that isn't the case when arguably three of the best players of this generation have a shadow cast over them.

In the end, I just see the rules as being the rules. Some guys chose to play and not go around and see other girls, some guys did. Let's condemn those with positive tests after 2004 as that's when the rules should apply. If it's all in the game prior to that point, then let's take it for what it is and just take it for what it is. Maybe we don't agree with the choices some of our favourite players made during that time, but it wasn't our moral dilemma to go through. It was their own and they made their own choices that were put forth to them.

Without consequence, it is all fair play.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The sweat is starting to show...

A day after the Super Bowl and possibly one of the greatest championship games that you will ever see, it is hard to believe that I've spent the last few hours trying to figure out exactly what is going on with Chris Bosh and the Toronto Raptors.

The team appears to be dead in the water as of this moment and as a fan, I understand completely the rage the fans are bringing to the Air Canada Centre. When the team comes and throws out two consecutive stinkers as they did against the Bucks and the Magic this weekend, there really does not really seem to be a more fitting of a response.

Earlier in the week I had a conversation with a friend of mine about the way Toronto sports fans seem to rally around the media and not their team when it comes to certain players and their deficiencies on the playing field. It had become really obvious that a lot of sports fans in Toronto were not capable of forming their own opinion on a player, but instead relied on guys like Bob McCowan to tell them exactly what to think of players like Bryan McCabe, Eric Hinske and Andrea Bargnani. I had remarked to this friend of mine how ludicrous I thought the whole notion of relying on sports talk radio to come up with an opinion of a player was. Although after the whole fiasco this past weekend with the Raptors, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I was wrong.

We all have things in our life that motivate us; the fear of failure, the desire to be the best, the almighty dollar. The thing in sports is to simply find out how to motivate a particular player to get the best of his or her ability. If you need to baby them, then baby them. If you need to scream until you are hoarse, you do just that. When it comes down to it though, I figured a team leader would look to find his own motivation when a crowd of people are questioning you and your teams toughness and ability.

Let's clear the air - I love Chris Bosh. I would put him in the label of a top-15 player, I think he's entertaining to watch, great to listen to and overall great for the basketball community in Toronto. What bothers me about Chris lashing out against the fans and his willingness to boo the fans if they have a bad fiscal year, is that he is setting us all up for more heartbreak as Raptors fans. As if the fiasco with Damon, Vince and so many other former stars of Toronto sports didn't leave us all bitter in the way those atheletes left, we now all seem threatened to feel as if we're the single 36-year old girl watching her last single friend get married. That we had fun during the whole dating thing with us, but to have you go off and marry a Portland, New Jersey or a lonely billionaire New York.

(By the way: Given the financial situation around the world, maybe multi-millionaire atheletes should boo us all if we have poor fiscal years. Manny Ramirez and Latrell Spreewell will be the first in line to do just that.)

Look, if Chris Bosh leaves in 2010 to go win a couple of championships and does so with grace, I'm sure the Toronto sports market will understand. But with efforts like we've seen over the past weekend, mixed in with the angry comments towards the fans that have embraced him since he came into the league, this is starting to feel all too familiar to all of us fans. We tasted the first bit of success as a franchise with Vince and it hurt when he quit. Chris lifted the Raptors up to a division title and back-to-back playoff appearances when most thought this project would take a few years to get back on track.

Don't break our hearts again, Chris. I swear we can change.